Happy Birthday!

The  Man Days of Summer  are here, and, dog oh dog, is it hot in the A-Zone! To stay cool, I’m spending most of my days floating on my wubber waft in the pool, and as I float around, my mind (I have a big one!) is drifting, drifting, drif to a cooler land, far, far away  where I was born and spent the first 6 months of my life.

Once upon a time — April 11, 2010 –, on a bright and sunny Sunday morning, in the Badger State of Wisconsin, also known as the Land of Cheese, creamy  badger dog  triplets were born at a beautiful castle on a green bay, called Vom Daxi Haus. The proud bio parents, Papa  Devin  (CH A Devine Connex Vom Daxi Haus MLC) and Mama  Bunny  (Ray O Creamsumbunny Vom Daxi Haus MLC), were overjoyed to welcome a handsome son and 2 beautiful daughters. They named the boy Jack, but they couldn’t decide what to name the girls since they looked identical, so the human grandma, Jacqulyn, named both of them Abby (I & II). You probably guessed by now, I am/was Abby II.

Who’s on first ?  Two’s on first ! Yes, me, lil Abby II opened my eyes first when I was only 9 days old, really early for a cream  badger dog  baby. Grandma thinks it was because bio-Moomie, Bunny, ate all that good Hundefutter when I was in her belly, but I think it’s because I couldn’t wait to see the beautiful castle and everyone that lives in it. I was a curious lildoxis princess who couldn’t wait to wake up each morning to the joyful sounds of the castle. Grandma and grandpa greeted us  wake up sleepy heads . Mommy and daddy, aunties, uncles, and cousins all rubbed their eyes, yawning. But not me, Abby II. I barked good morning  back, bouncing with anticipation of my hearty Junger Hundefutter breakfast, followed by playtime.

Our daily routine went like this: once we were fully awake, it was sheer pandemonium. Grandma quickly opened our  bedroom  doors, lifted us up and carefully set each of us on the ground. After briefly sniffing her out, we raced out the door as fast as our lildoxis bodies could motor, around the corner, slipping and sliding into one another like bowling pins as we tried to regain our footing. Once we did, we reached our fun play yard. We sniffed one another (humans should do this too, I highly recommend it), played tag, took care of  business  after our yummy breakfast! The girls gossiped about  studly  boys, bio Moomie bragged about her babies, and some kin folk squabbled about who had better conformation. Later in the morning, grandma carried us to an  elegant spa  for a bath and pawdicure. I loved that special girlie bonding time!

There was lots of room to run around in the play yard, and I loved the little stones beneath my paw-paws. There are little pebbles in my A-Zone resort and I still love them. But playing with the toys was the best! There was a playhouse, a swimming pool for skinny-dipping (naughty, risque me!), a tunnel to go through, a ramp to climb, a bridge to cross, and a slide to go down wheeee. Sometimes we barked  hello  at the neighbors who stopped by to visit. We were told to shush when we got too loud, and to mind our manners. Yeah, yeah, we knew what to do, but sometimes it was just too hard to control ourselves.

Usually grandma, grandpa, or Miriah, the lovely kennel lady, came out to play with us and give us gazillions of pat-pats, hugs, and  yeah , and  good girl  cheers.. They taught us to share, play nicely, and respect one another (whatever that means). We sang songs, flirted!! , and pranced around looking beautiful. Some lildoxis just liked to bask in the sun. They would love the Zone and should move here. We could have fun, fun, fun in the Arizona sun! While we were playing, the humans did laundry, cleaned up our  business cards , and swept and mopped our bedrooms. Good to have staff! They also took care of the boys in one area, and nursing mamas in another.

At the end of a fun-filled day of playing, eating and pooping, when all of the laundry was done, our beds were made, and our toys were laid out, grandma called us to come back to our rooms. Usually, the boys were already tucked in their beds by the time us busy-bee girls were ready to call it a day. Lazy bums! Grandma, grandpa, and Miriah lifted us lovingly into our beds. As we snuggled into our clean blankies, we got a bedtime cookie. Yum! Some lildoxis got special care before bedtime. I asked my cousin what made her so special. She said MYOB, so I apologized. Then the lights went out, and everyone said  night-night  and  I wuff you . It was an awesome life with my wienerful family at Vom Daxi Haus since most of my 6-generation family members knew each other all of their lives. Sweet dreams everyone!

KAH-PLOP! SPLASH! BOOM! BANG! Oh no, my wubber waft capsized!!! Help!! Yelp!!!!, Moomie, Moomie, where am I? Claire-Claire, are you alright? I’m OK, Moomie, I am, I must have been snoozing and dreaming about being a baby badger-dog at Vom Daxi Haus castle, but I’m awake now, at the Castle in the Zone where it’s Summertime, and the livin’ is easy

Lizards are jumpin’ and the temps are high

My Papa’s rich and my Moomie’s good lookin’

So hush lil Claire-Claire, don’t you cry

One of these mornings I’m going to rise up singing

Then I’ll spread my wings and I’ll take to the sky

And visit GRANDMA!

But till that morning there’s a’nothing can harm me

With Papa and Moomie standing by

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy

by Fernande Hastert Kuykendall

Apologies

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a looong time but I have been suffering from acute (a cute) writer’s  cramp and brain wiffies. Even though I had lots to tell you, my noggin and paw wouldn’t connect.

Summer’s gone, and so was Moomie! She went to Europe, to visit her Moomie! I did not know I had  another grandma and would have loved to go meet her, but she lives far, far away, across a huge puddle.  The only way to get there is in one of those big, shiny birds that fly over my backyard poop station, so I stayed home with Papa and went to the office with him every day. He said I am the best laptop he ever had  and he let me play with a robo mouse that poof, like magic, made Moomie appear on a screen. Papa called  it Skype and we talked through the magic box. He also said I was the sexiest secretary he ever had.  Helloooo, of course I am, I am legally blonde after all!

Moomie was gone for 10 days, the longest I have been separated from her since I adopted her, and when she  came back, I didn’t leave her side for weeks, making sure she wouldn’t go away again. But no  matter how many kissies I showered her with, boohoo … she left again, and this time Papa went with her!  They had to go to Washington because Moomie is a diplomat now and there was some highfalutin’  swearing-in ceremony where no doggies were allowed. Party poopers! I could have livened up the stuffy  crowd quite a bit!

Thanks goodness Nanny Beth came and stayed with me while they were gone or I would have starved to  death from lack of love and Hundefutter (please note: reverse order of priority!). When they came back,  they promised me they would not abandon me again until next year when they go watch my future sister, a  showgirl named Reni, aka GCH Wroyal Sarenity Vom Daxi Haus MLC strut her regal bootie at the  Westminster doggie show. What? Why? My hiney is cute too, so why won’t they just stay home and  watch me jiggle it instead?

And what’s this bark about a future sister all about? I already have a sister, Halo, and a brother, Jack,  but I haven’t seen them since October 2010. I miss playing with them, so I hope this Reni-Girl loves to  run and be chased as much as I do. I am actually willing to share Moomie and Papa with her, as long as she  realizes I will always be Princess Claire-Claire and she will have to play by my rules!

Soon Santa Claus will visit for the 2nd time. I have been a very good lildoxi girl, so I p-mailed my list  already. I hope the elves will have enough time to get everything in the nick of time for St. Nick! 

3 x HO = Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and Grandpa Mark, and your wonderful family,  and all lildoxis at Vom Daxi Haus! 

Claire-Claire

by Fernande Hastert Kuykendall </span>

St. Paddy’s Day

HAPPY ST. PADDY DAY to you, yours, and sister Reni-Roo!

Reni this, Reni that, Reni, Reni, Reni, that’s all hear about since Moomie and Papa came back from 136th Westminster Kennel Show In New York. Moomie said Reni floated, Reni glided, pranced and danced, and the crowd went wild.

Since I wasn’t there to witness these apparent accomplishments, let me ask you: can she jump, can she bark, can she snore like a banshee, can she hunt lizards, can she become airborne on the leash when chasing a leaf in the wind, soaring like a furry kite? If not, she will have lots to learn when she comes to live with us.

Barking of, I’m not the jealous type and will gladly share with her, as long as she doesn’t beat me to the Hundefutter, Moomie’s lap, my toy box, the king-sizepup cup in the master bedroom, or, or She might be Queen Bee in the show ring, but she better remember who’s HRH in MY house!

And what’s with the spelling of her name?

Queen is spelled Reine in French (pronounce ren), not Ren-i!

My paws will be full teaching her about the REAL world of being a PET Wiener girl, but I’m looking forward to finally have someone in the house who can get down to my level without needing a crane to get back up and who can chase me for more than one minute without needing CPR (like my wheezing’ geezerette & geezerStaff).

C’mon Reni!

I am so very sorry about my equine brother, Prince!

IF THE EYES HAD NO TEARS, THE SOUL WOULD HAVE NO RAINBOW.

Last, but not least HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my human brother, Lee!

Please thank him for the wonderful job he does protecting us all.

Love,

Claire-Claire

Guess what?

I have a job now! I’m an AKC registered lildoxi nurse with a degree in snuggling, cuddling, napping, kissing, licking, and sighing. I’s hard work and I take it very seriously.

Moomie went to see the White Coat and when he put her in the machine that can see inside us, he discovered a ballie in her right breathing pouch. He said it was a Cancer, but Moomie is a Capricorn, so I am really confused now: how can she be both?

Since that day in April, my world has been upside down. Moomie left one morning but didn’ come back, so I went to work with Papa every day, wondering what happened to her and I missed her terribly. Finally, after what seemed forever, she came home and when she walked into the house, I ran to her, doing somersaults and crying with joy and I actually piddled a few drops since I couldn’ contain myself with happiness. I jumped up Moomie’s legs as high as I could and wanted to be picked up so I could give her kissies but she couldn’ bend down, so Papa had to calm me and once Moomie was seated in a chair, he handed me to her and I kissed her so hard I think I gave her hickies all over her face, arms, and hands. I just couldn’ stop and I haven’ budged from her side ever since.

She told me all about the White Coat cutting her ribbies open and taking out the breathing pouch with the cancer ballie in it. I wonder how it got inside of her and I am glad he retrieved it. I keep following her from chair to couch to bed, watching over her all day long while Papa is at work, making sure she is OK and won’ go away anymore to have more “ballies cut out of her . The White Coat said she could not pick up anything weighing more than 10 pounds; thanks to my yummy Hundefutter and lots of walk-walks, I weighed in just at the allowed limit —

whew!!

A few weeks have gone by now and Moomie is starting to look and feel better, but I still keep a very close eye on her, especially since I overheard her and Papa talk about both going away in August. They keep mentioning my future sister, Reni, so I figured it out that they will go visit you and Reni and all the lildoxis. Oh how I wish I could come too, — boohoo –, but Moomie and Papa will also go to the Luxembourg Heritage Festival in Belgium, WI, and there will be many, many people and they said I could get trampled in a parade, so Nanny Beth will come and

stay with me here at the Castle. I will need many soft toys to bury my face into for drying my crocodile tears and reduce the stress from separation anxiety. As you can see, my puny stockpile will hardly do the trick!

Wuv n wags, — Claire-Claire

Thanksgiving

At Thanksgiving I wish to give thanks

That my bootie is a firm little cutie

And I don’t have to wear Spanx!

I am thankful summer has come and gone

Because in August Moomie was also gone

She went to visit all my Dachsie kin

In the Land far away called Wis-con-sin

And when she came home she told tall tales

About lots of waggin’ lildoxis tails.

I need earplugs, seriously!

Ever since Moomie and Papa visited you this summer, they have been glowing about Glow’s tiny

puppies and the gaggle of giggly girly-girls that came running around the bend like the bulls in Pamplona. I

saw the photos of Moomie covered head to toe with lildoxis and she keeps telling stories about Reni, and

my bio sister, Halo, and my bio grandma, Sarena (apparently Moomie’s absolute favorite hellooooo???), Connexion, Javert (rhymes with bear), lil Prince Sari being the rooster in the henhouse, and

teenie weenie Protea hanging out with the stud muffins. (I am so glad I’m normal and not

gender-bended like those two!)

I didn’t know I had so many fun relatives and I am thankful for all and I wish all a very HAPPY

THANKSGIVING!

Gobble till you wobble, boys and girls!

Love,

Claire-Claire

Grandma Wisconsin,

Bark, the Herald Dachshunds sing, Hail to Claire, the new-born Queen!
Moomie said no, Claire, thats not what they’re singing, but my — selective — puppy hearing is perfect and I think she needs a hearing aid.

The Big Dachshunds planted a pine tree smack dab in our great room! Whats that all about? Good thing Im not a boy-boy or I would be tempted to play tripod against it!!! Brother Jack, are you reading this, teehee!? J

Grandma, I havent written to you in a while because Moomie said I should write a letter to Santa Paws first. This is my 1st Christmas and Im a babe in the woods who has no clue what the hoopla about an obese, hairy, human geezer in a red velvet suit is all about, but being a good little Dachsie girl, I indulged her. Heres what I wrote:

Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is everything in PetsMart. I also want an octokini and a wubba raft because our new pool will be finished in a few days. (I will be lounging in the sun while lildoxis are dashing through snow in Wiener Wonderland). And I want Grandma and Grandpa and all lildoxis feel as warm and fuzzy and happy as I do. Dachshundishly yours,
Naughty-Nice Claire

I havent finished daching the halls yet for my 1st Christmas, so this will be a shortie (like me) to wish you YAPPY HOWLIDAYS. Merry, merry Christmas and happy, happy New Year to all! Tis the season to be jolly, Dachs-la-lah,-la-lala-lah!

Claire
Written by,
Fernande Hastert Kuykendall